I am getting seriously fed up with being the person who is always the one making the first move with all family members and things, no matter when it comes to apologies, invites or whatever. 

I am tired of always trying to put things nicely so no ones feelings get hurt. Except mine. I dont know whether its something to do with my age or anything else, but no one in my family (except my sister maybe) seems to really care about how I feel. 

I am not a punching board people!!! Get it rite!!! I am NOT an outlet for all your anger and frustration. My purpose in life is NOT to take the fall for crap you have done. Just because I did something - the series of unrelated events, which were not my fault, that followed do not give any one the rite to blame me and me only for everything that went wrong.

I am not bitter. I just want some respect and credit where credit is due. And also to be treated like my feelings actually matter to all of you and each one individually of you people in my family.

Long time...

Haven't posted for a little while, as housework and other bits and pieces seemed to have consumed me within the past couple of weeks. There is always something to do around the house. Something to clean, wash put away, vacuum. Especially with two animals wandering in and out and two teenage offspring of my husband's visiting weekly. 

At least the summer fruit has started to come in. This is not a euphemism for anything. Just fruit. Mangoes, raspberries, blueberries, nicer watermelon and cantaloupe. Tasty. 

And longer and warmer days. Although the weather has bee swinging a bit wildly lately. From cold to hot. But at least its warm some of the time. 

I have not resolved much with my mother as to the reason behind the non-invite to the dinner. She just ignored what happened and has gone on as if it has never occurred. Much like always. Acknowledging and admitting wrongs is not something that happens in our family. She has offered to have a dinner to which she doesnt invite my sister but invites me. She doesnt seem to understand that this wont make things better Two wrongs dont make a right. What I was annoyed about was not against my sister, but my mom. Her lack of concern or seemingly care about what goes on in my life. But there's not much I can do to change this at this stage of her or my life, as the behavior has become too entrenched from rarely having been corrected.

Oh well. Life goes on. There are bigger concerns in the world.